Removing the Mask We Wear As Part Time Humans
We are all whole human beings.
I’d love for you to read that first line again; sit with it for a second and let it truly sink in.
Because it’s something that’s been taking up a lot of my headspace recently. You see, I’ve spent almost two decades in service to the most vulnerable people in the world — and yet it’s so easy to forget that the people like me who are actually doing the work, are human too.
Organizations allow us — or rather, expect us — to fragment ourselves. To compartmentalize. To “keep our feelings at home”.
But here’s why this doesn’t work:
It’s completely unrealistic. As whole human beings we don’t leave a piece of ourselves at the door when we walk in to work each day. What happens in our lives outside of work often impacts us at work. And vice versa.
Because we are whole human beings.
And, with people continuing to work from home, and with general life stress at an all-time high, recognizing this is becoming more important than ever.
The mask we wear as “part-time humans.”
When we can’t show up authentically as our whole selves, we are forced to put on a mask instead. We pretend. We try to cover up our vulnerability, to deny the moments in which we struggle. We dedicate our working lives to helping others, yet suppress our emotions and choose not to ask for help when we, too, need support.
It’s a heavy burden to bear for individuals in helping professions. And it takes a lot of energy to keep the mask in place — which often prevents us from being present. From being effective. From delivering our best work.
It’s also why organizations that aren’t built on a foundation of psychological safety, connection and belonging often struggle when things get hard and challenges arise.
However, when leaders stop expecting people to operate as part-time humans and encourage them to remove their masks — when we create “whole-human” organizations — we begin to see and experience transformation at the individual AND organizational level across high human impact (HHI) sectors. We reach a point where operations and employee retention criteria are built on a foundation of diverse perspectives and experiences, and where equity, inclusion, belonging and organizational well-being are woven into the fabric of the culture.
So how do you create a “whole-human” organization?
You start by taking off your own mask, getting curious, and intentionally taking time to see, and connect to the humanity in the people around you. Your organizational culture needs to be based in connection and belonging to be effective and sustainable.
And the way you do this doesn’t come out of a manual. It comes from being authentic and human together.
Here are a couple of steps to get you started:
As a person:
Show up as who you are — your whole self. Don’t try to be perfect. Don’t feel you have to compartmentalize or pretend. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and ask for help when you need it. Take regular breaks. Remember: you don’t have to take care of everything, all by yourself, all of the time.
As a leader:
Know that you have even more responsibility here because your words and actions set the tone for the wider organizational culture and your behavior is a model for the people whom you lead. And as my favorite fictitious coach Ted Lasso says — be curious, not judgmental.
Spend time getting to know your team. Resist the urge to talk exclusively about work — take a few minutes at the beginning of meetings to check in with people, even if it’s just a one-word check-in to gauge how people are feeling. Show them you really care.
And remember that it doesn’t have to be a super-long, super-complicated process. It’s just about authentically building community and connection, allowing people to show up as they are, and extending the compassion we share for the people we serve to the people who work in the organization.
Ultimately, it’s all about this . . .
We are, by nature, hardwired for connection and belonging. When we create that within our organization, we create psychological safety. We create a culture in which people can confidently show up as their whole selves. And we create an organization staffed by whole human beings — people who are far more effective, resilient, and able to work sustainably over the long haul.
