If You ‘Don’t See Color’ You’re Missing the Point
My heart has been heavy this week — alternating between feelings of sadness, outrage, grief, and fear over the events of the past couple of weeks — Ahmaud Arbery — Breonna Taylor — George Floyd — and all the others whose lives have been taken through the systemic racism that has been part of a sordid 401 year history of oppression in this country.
As a leader in my various communities I’ve been thinking about what to say right now. I’ve been mindful about wanting to create space to let the voices of Black friends be front and center. We need to hear their pain and absorb their righteous rage. As Jonathan Fields so eloquently wrote recently, “we need to see and say their names. We need to acknowledge their humanity, and how it was taken. We need to acknowledge the devastation and the heartbreak. Because these are just three of the many human lives that have been taken by racism. And there are so many.”
To the people out there who say “color doesn’t matter” or “I don’t see color” — I believe you speak these words with good intentions — but you’re missing the point. As a person of color I can say from experience that these sentiments actually hurt more than heal.
The color of our skin is a part of who we are — part of each of our individual stories. To say you don’t see color means that you don’t see us as the whole people we are. That something that is so fundamentally a part of who we are, doesn’t matter. That who we are as individuals and as whole communities, doesn’t matter.
The color of our skin has shaped our individual and collective experiences, created the lens through which we view, and experience life, and validated the societal privileges we do or do not carry. It is within the color that we find the culture that makes this country rich and vibrant, filled with unique perspectives and traditions, and where we also find the common humanity that makes us one.
Every day we see color being weaponized and used as the basis of an arbitrary hierarchy. But it shouldn’t be. It should be seen, embraced and celebrated to allow every person to show up as their whole selves. Without fear. Without shame. Without humiliation.
My social media feed has been filled with with messages of outrage and calls to action. But our words are no longer enough. We need change, which will only happen through education, action, personal accountability, and acknowledging that color matters. As one of my friends recently posted “learning is hard and takes effort. Unlearning is even harder and takes proactive, intentional effort.”
So we have some choices ahead of us.
We can be outraged and angry and use our voices to lament every time we bear witness to another shameful act of brutality against people of color, or we can use our voices to ask the tough questions and have the hard conversations, hold one another accountable, and educate ourselves to understand how we can serve in the fight towards creating real and lasting, positive change.
And by change, I mean the kind of change that requires the courage to start with ourselves as we look within with honesty and humility. To recognize and acknowledge our own biases and actions that may have harmed others in the past. To intentionally choose the discomfort of new actions, instead of allowing ourselves to fall into comfortable past patterns that don’t serve us or communities of color. To really try to get to know the people of color we encounter, instead of sizing them up and putting them into a box based solely on their outward appearance, before a word is ever spoken. And to see, acknowledge, and accept that while the people of color around us are whole human beings who experience joy and love, feel pain, and grieve loss — they also walk through life carrying the added and heavy burdens of fear and discrimination that cannot be understood by those who have experienced a life of societal privilege that has been reserved solely for the white segment of our society since the birth of this nation.
Race is the root factor from which other injustices and prejudices related to economics, education, and geography are born. Systemic racism is weaved into the fabric of American culture, and until we actively pull at the thread and begin to unravel generations of oppression, I fear that we will continue to see brutal injustices perpetrated against our black brothers and sisters, regardless of wealth, education, where they live, or their social status.
Being a part of the solution requires us to be a part of the conversation. Being part of the conversation requires open hearts, open minds, and a willingness to put aside our own insecurities and grievances in order to understand other perspectives. It requires us to try to stop using our privilege to fix the situation and to instead act with empathy and ask those who are suffering, “how can I help?” It requires the courage to show up and keep showing up and taking action for as long as it takes to undo a legacy of oppression and work together to create a new legacy of unity and hope for generations to come.
